The Stories We Tell Ourselves: How to Rewrite Your Internal Narrative
In recent years, the significance of storytelling in communication has been increasingly recognized. Courses, books, and expert mentors abound, all focused on helping individuals refine their personal narratives. We acknowledge the power of storytelling when it comes to communicating with others, yet often neglect the most crucial stories of all—the ones we tell ourselves.
Recently, I had a conversation with a young woman about the challenges of being a working mom. She shared the stories she had been telling herself: not spending enough time with her kids, feeling guilty about her work hours, and being self-critical about how she was managing life’s demands. As a former working mom for over 25 years, I know a thing or two about this internal dialogue.
The “working mom” story is one many women face. During my own journey, I made a conscious effort to craft a different narrative about balancing motherhood and work. I wasn’t perfect at it, but I knew the impact a positive story could have.
My Story of Being a Working Mom:
I believe that God has given me a passion and purpose to support people, both in the workplace and at home. My gifts and talents benefit adults and children alike. I have the privilege and honor to set an example in both arenas. I can positively impact others through my career while being a great mom, ensuring that my kids always know how important they are to me.
Whenever guilt crept in, I used this narrative to remind myself of the messages that truly served me—and my kids—better. Over the years, this positive internal story not only helped me navigate the challenges of being a working mom but also contributed to raising two amazing young adults.
The Power of Stories:
The stories we tell ourselves are powerful. They shape our worldview and directly influence the outcomes we experience in life. As you reflect on the narratives you hold about work, family, relationships, and more, consider these coaching tips to reshape your internal dialogue.
1. Make the Unconscious, Conscious
The first step is to become aware of the stories playing out in your mind. What narratives are you repeating to yourself? Many of our internal stories are negative and destructive, often going unnoticed. Start paying attention to these internal dialogues and take note of how they influence your life.
2. Examine Your Stories
Sometimes, the narratives that dominate our thinking work against us. Ask yourself these critical questions: How true is this story? How is it serving me? If you shared your story with a friend, what would they say? Speaking your stories out loud or writing them down can help you see them more objectively. Often, we exaggerate, fabricate, or even lie to ourselves.
3. Reframe the Story
As you practice rewriting negative scripts, putting the new, positive narratives on paper can be a transformative exercise. When you focus on stories that support, uplift, and energize you, these positive narratives will begin to manifest more naturally in your life.
The results we achieve in life are closely linked to the tone, message, and energy of our internal dialog. By taking control of the narratives you want for your life, you can start receiving the results you desire both at work and at home.
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ithrive31 blends leadership coaching and life coaching—guiding leaders and professionals to unleash their full potential in order to thrive at work and at home. If you enjoy our content, we invite you to subscribe to our newsletter here.
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Miki Huntington, M.A., CPC Lauren Foxwell, MBA Stacey Walter Dorene MacVey, PCC Marli Overman, PHR, CPC
