Riding the Emotional Waves: Embrace, Understand, and Evolve
Lately, emotions have taken center stage in my life. Through events and situations that have misaligned with my values, I’ve experienced the full spectrum—anger, frustration, helplessness, and everything in between. As a lifelong learner, I’ve found myself reflecting deeply on emotional intelligence—not just as a coach, but as a student of life.
What does it mean to truly understand and work with our emotions? Here are a few lessons I’ve been contemplating.
1. Separate Emotions from Judgment
We often label emotions as either “good” or “bad.” Happiness, joy, and excitement—Good. Anger, frustration, sadness—Bad. But this kind of thinking does more harm than good.
When we classify emotions this way, we unintentionally create shame around the ones we see as “bad.” How many times have we told ourselves:
“I shouldn’t feel this way.”
“I need to get over it.”
“If I were stronger, I wouldn’t be upset.”
But emotions are not moral statements. They are not good or bad—they just are. When we stop judging our emotions, we allow them to do what they are meant to do: inform us, move through us, and teach us something.
The truth is, our emotions don’t need fixing. They need acceptance. Instead of resisting or shaming what we feel, we can practice naming the emotion and sitting with it—without trying to push it away. When we do this, we free ourselves from the exhausting cycle of suppression and self-criticism. We give ourselves permission to be fully human.
And something powerful happens when we accept our emotions—we develop greater empathy for others. When we stop seeing emotions as something to “fix,” we also stop trying to fix them in others. Instead, we create space for people to be real.
2. Emotions Allow Us to See People—and Be Seen
Recently, I was in a group meeting where we checked in using one word to describe how we were feeling. Many of the words were heavy. Life was weighing on people in real ways.
But in that space, there was also power—it gave us an opportunity to truly see each other. There was honesty, empathy, and connection. Emotions, even the tough ones, are not something to suppress or fix; they are a bridge to real, human connection. When we accept them without judgment, we cultivate self-awareness and emotional freedom.
3. Emotions Are Fluid—Let Them Be
Emotions shift. Sometimes they change in an instant; other times, they linger. Both are normal.
One morning, I woke up feeling settled, grounded. An hour later, an unexpected exchange left me completely unsettled. The shift was fast and jarring. Other times, emotions simmer under the surface for days or weeks.
The key is to notice how long emotions last and their impact. If an emotion lingers and weighs you down, it might be a sign to talk it through—with a friend, a coach, or a therapist. There’s wisdom in giving emotions space while also recognizing when support is needed.
4. Emotions Are a Window into What Matters
Feelings don’t just happen—they hold messages. Emotions serve as clues to what we value, what we fear, and what we need.
For example, when I feel anger, I ask myself:
Why is this triggering me?
What is it trying to show me?
More often than not, my anger points to something deeper—a value that feels threatened or an unmet need I haven’t acknowledged. I firmly believe that what triggers us, teaches us. Instead of feeling guilty about difficult emotions, we can use them as a guide to better understand ourselves.
Final Thoughts
Emotions are not obstacles to overcome—they are signals to pay attention to. They remind us of what matters, help us connect more deeply with ourselves and others, and guide us toward personal growth.
The next time you feel a wave of emotion rising, pause. Accept it. Get curious about it. Let it be a teacher instead of a burden. In doing so, you allow yourself the freedom to feel fully and live authentically.
